Rafa’s Song
A heartfelt moment with my son Rafa, whose simple song revealed deep emotions about parental absence and the power of listening and reassurance.
A few months ago, while we were still in bed and half-asleep, I heard Rafa singing a song. It was a simple song he made but it had quite an impact on me in the days following that. Initially, I thought I was just dreaming but the emotions I felt at that time were so intense that I jolted and was suddenly wide awake. I felt sad because, in my dream, it was a lonely boy. I was even sadder when I woke up because it was not a dream after all, Rafa’s song was very real. I even caught him singing the last few lines.
Anyway, the song went like this:
“Don’t go, Mommy
Don’t go, Daddy
Don’t go to the office
Come back, Mommy
Come back, Daddy
Don’t go to the office”
To make sure it wasn’t a dream, I asked Rafa to repeat his song, to which he readily obliged. It was indeed real. At that moment, I was already feeling a mix of emotions (actually, it was more like a stab into my heart).
Like any other child, my little boy is sad to see us go to work. I mean, we’ve all been to that stage, and I can remember my own sadness whenever I saw my parents leave for work. It felt like the world was about to come to an end even when one of them was not around. On the other hand, the joy of seeing them arrive home from work is immeasurable.
Anyway, going back to Rafa’s song, what lesson did this incident teach me as a dad? First, we should always listen intently to our kids, especially during moments when they are alone or not busy with play. They may be little but that doesn’t mean that they know nothing. They are smart individuals with unique and creative ways of expressing themselves. In Rafa’s case, he expressed his feelings with regard to his Mommy’s and my office work through a song.
Second, take the opportunity to talk to them and reinforce how much you love and care for them. That’s especially crucial in moments when they express fear or disappointment. In our case, I talked to Rafa and assured him that I wasn’t going to the office that day, although I had to work on my laptop.
Nonetheless, I promised that we would play in the afternoon after I finished work. I also promised him that his Mommy and I would take them to SM that weekend. I know he wasn’t satisfied with my promise because what he wanted was for us to stay home all the time, but I also explained to him that Mommy and Daddy need to work for us to buy their favorite food and the toys that they want.
The beauty of talking to kids is that they completely trust you. Whatever you say to them, they will hold on to that as the ultimate truth in the entire universe. After our little talk, I was able to convince Rafa (at least for that day) that Mommy and Daddy needed to be away for a little while, but he had the weekend to look forward to.
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nice song