It Literally Takes A Whole Community To Support Autistic Individuals
Pangarap ko ang isang mundo na kayang intindihin at suportahan ang mga special needs individuals.
Last weekend, Mommy Khris and I met with one of our closest friends. As we were talking, our conversation shifted from topic to topic, but since we all had kids of our own, we naturally delved into life lately and family updates. One of the subjects that really stuck was about Miguel since alam n’yang nasa autism spectrum ang panganay namin.
Natuwa ako sa k’wento n’ya tungkol sa school ng anak n’ya. Sabi kasi n’ya, may ilan-ilan ding mga kaklase ang anak n’ya na nasa autism spectrum. Encouraged daw kasi ng school na isama sa mga neurotypical kids ang mga ito, as long as may go-signal from the developmental pediatrician and may mga shadow teachers na nakaalalay. The kids are also verbal (or kaya mag-sign language), so that seems to be a requirement as well para maisama ang mga neurodivergent kids sa neurotypical kids.
Unang-una, gusto ko lang sabihin na natutuwa ako dito sa school na ito. I believe this is a good way to instill solid knowledge in neurotypical kids about how to socialize and deal with neurodivergent kids (and vice versa). Maganda kasi talaga na magkaroon ng strong foundation ang mga bata para paglaki nila mas alam nila kung paano mag-deal with autistic individuals. Mas understanding sila sa mga batang hindi nila katulad and, in case may makita silang may struggle, p’wede nila itong matulungan.
Kung hindi pa ito ginagawa sa iba, sana maging inspiration ito for other schools to follow suit. Wish ko lang naman. I know some schools kasi na outright nirereject yung ibang kids with special education needs, although wala ako’ng issue about it since baka wala silang capability or specialized skills to handle such cases.
Ang isa pang tumatak mula sa conversation namin ay yung sinabi ng friend namin na literal na buong community naman talaga ang dapat ma-involve sa pagbibigay ng malasakit sa mga special needs individuals.
This brings to mind a recent news story I read about an autistic individual who was hit by a car.
One comment to that news post stuck in my mind because it made so much sense and called for the same unity within the community in ensuring the safety of autistic persons and special needs individuals.
The comment went like this:
Kung kakilala n’yo naman ang bata at nakita ito sa labas na parang walang kasama, approach the child and ask if may kasama ba s’ya or alam ba ng guardians n’ya na lumabas s’ya.
Naalala ko tuloy nung time na nag-grocery kami at bigla na lang tumakbo si Miguel sa likod ng mga shelves, at biglang tumakas palabas. Buti nahabol s’ya ni yaya, pero papunta na talaga s’ya sa highway. Nung pagbalik nila, ang sabi ng guard, hindi daw n’ya kasi alam kung pipigilan n’ya o hindi yung bata.
S’yempre, hindi naman kasalanan ng guard yun kasi hindi rin naman n’ya talaga alam ang tamang handling pag ganun. Pero naisip ko rin na since minor naman, maging standard procedure na tanungin yung bata kung san s’ya pupunta pag nakitang walang kasama palabas ng isang establishment.
Pag nasa kalsada tayo at may nakita tayong bata o isang tao na parang walang sense of danger, parang hindi alintana ang panganib sa kanyang paligid, mag-menor na o magdahan-dahan sa pagmamaneho.
Ang mga autistic kids ay naturally attracted sa water or bodies of water. Kaya naman, siguraduhing may takip lagi ang mga malalalim na lalagyan ng tubig o kaya ay siguraduhing masinop ang mga hukay na maaaring kahulugan ng kahit sinuman.
Pag nakakabasa ako ng mga ganitong comments sa social media, natutuwa ako kasi alam kong may mga nakakaintindi rin sa situation ng mga special needs persons.
Marami kasi sa atin, dahil hindi naman nila naiintindihan ang situation ng mga may special needs, ang tendency ay magalit sa kanila o kaya saktan sila agad pag may nagawa ang mga ito na hindi natin nagustuhan o ayon sa ating mga nakasanayan.
Tulad na lamang nung nangyari sa binata na nabugbog sa bus.
Nakatakas lang s’ya dahil nalingat ang bantay n’ya at hindi napansin na nakalabas ng gate. Habang nasa bus, dahil hindi pamilyar sa ingay at paligid, nagkaroon ng meltdown yung binata.
Akala ng ibang pasahero na nanggugulo ito, kaya binugbog nila. Nakakalungkot lang na kailangang may taong lubos na masaktan dahil lang sa hindi naintindihan ng iba ang sitwasyon n’ya.
Again, that’s why it takes a whole community to ensure the safety of special needs individuals. As a parent (and as with other parents), we don’t ask for other people’s preferential treatment of our children. We’re just trying to spread awareness so that people would be more caring and understanding of our special needs kids when we are not around to guide them anymore, whatever their situation may be.
I remember this one instance when we were in Tagaytay. We were on a farm, looking at the rabbits in their cages when someone with a dog walked near where we were.
We never really paid attention to the dog nearby because Miguel often just ignored them. However, it was different at that time. Out of nowhere, Miguel whipped the dog with the dry twig he was holding. It was really just a gentle tap, and the twig was flimsy, but we saw that the dog seemed surprised.
But what caught me off guard even more was how the dog’s owner reacted. In a firm and irritated tone, the person said, “No! No!” I readily held Miguel and his hands; we turned toward the person and the dog, and I said, “Sorry po!” because Miguel was non-verbal.
The person said, voice still tinged with irritation, “Don’t do that kasi baka magalit yung dog and kagatin ka,” to which I replied, “Sorry po ulit!”
Again, I kept my cool despite the person’s raised voice and annoyance. I mean, I understand that some people treat their dogs as children, and they (the owners) could get agitated like any other parent if their child is hurt by other kids.
On the other hand, they could choose to be diplomatic and just say “don’t do that because he might bite” in a civil tone since, in our case, Miguel just gently tapped the dog on the head with a dry and limp twig.
Uulitin ko, hindi naman kami humihingi ng special privilege. May nakita rin kasi akong post sa social media na sobrang inaway ng ibang tao yung isang special needs parent dahil inaakusahan nila na nagde-demand daw yung mga kagaya namin ng mas favored na treatment. Hindi daw namin dapat ginagawa yun kasi responsibilidad daw namin na maging doble o tripleng ingat sa mga anak namin.
Tama rin naman yung ibang mga tao dahil kaming mga parents and guardians ang primarily responsible sa mga anak namin. Pero kung nasa situation namin kayo, maiintindihan n’yo na higit pa rito ang ginagawa namin just to ensure the safety of our kids. Pero dahil nga sa inclined sila to have an escape behavior, talagang gagawa at gagawa sila ng paraan para tumakas.
Sabi ko nga, kung pwede lang na itali namin sa amin ang mga anak namin, ginawa na namin. Kaya lang, gusto rin namin na maranasan nila na maging malaya at mag-explore sila dahil karapatan nila iyon.
Sa huli, konting pang-unawa, pasensya, at simpatiya lang ang hinihiling namin para naman mabuhay nang ligtas ang mga anak namin kahit wala na kami. Para naman kahit papaano, maging mapayapa rin ang isipan naming mga magulang na may mga neurodivergent children.
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Hello! As a late-diagnosed autistic woman, thank you for this. While I'm grateful that there are supportive and kind parents of neurodivergent children, it's unfortunate na ang dominant voices sa social media space regarding autism/ADHD are parents who exploit their children and express their grievances and entitlement, to the point that they alienate autistic adults and curse them when they are faced with knowledge na iba sa kanila, like promoting a mindset that does not "cure" autism.