For several days now, my youngest son Rafa has been bugging us about a minor “concern” that has extremely perplexed him.
“Dapat bigger si Daddy kesa kay Mommy!” he would say. Then we’d reply, “Bigger naman talaga si Daddy kay Mommy a?” To which he’d hit back, “No, no…si Mommy ang bigger.”
Are you thinking about height? Or weight? Size, perhaps? No. Rafa was actually referring to our age. His mind couldn’t quite wrap around the idea that I’m younger than his Mommy. For him, since daddies make the final decisions in a family, they are supposed to be older than mommies.
This recent conversation with my little boy amused me, exactly because I was very much like him when I was his age. Back then, I also had the notion that dads were supposed to be the protectors of the family. That being said, they should be the oldest ones in a family.
In retrospect, I think I had that idea because I equated age with strength, wisdom, and other exceptional abilities. This meant they were the stronger ones who defended their loved ones from harm, and they generally held superpowers to shield their loved ones from the evils of the world.
My own father was older than my mother, so I thought that our family was “normal.”
However, I do recall one moment back in the early 90s when an old neighbor told me that in the newlywed couple living across our house, the husband was younger by a few years than his wife.
Upon hearing that, I couldn’t help but exclaim, “Ha, talaga po?” Again, since I thought that it was the men who were supposed to “lead” a home, they needed to be older than their wives.
As for Rafa, we just explained to him that it was okay for daddies to be older than mommies. They work hand in hand in nurturing a happy family, and they help each other in ensuring the safety of their children no matter their age.
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“…since daddies make the final decisions in a family,…” - your son has a lot to learn. Hahaha.
Seriously though, good read and thanks for sharing.
I’m 6 years older than my husband, and I’m the boss lol, but I used to think the husband should be older than the wife because that’s how it was with my own parents.